All parents want to see the kids courageous, initiative, able to stand for themselves. It is hard to find at least one mummy who would agree that her child – the coward. But what to do if you found out that the kid is excessively careful, coward?
To change it, having explained what all fears its imaginary will not turn out. Not so it is easy. To convince, utter, punish for the shown cowardice – the bad decision. In the beginning it is worth understanding why he is a coward.
The cowardice is born fears. Any psychologist will tell that presence of fears at the child is a normal phenomenon. The fear appears when the kid begins to study the world around.
The child, striving for independence, learns the opportunities and begins to understand that the world is unsafe. Also he can begin to collect the fears (for example, fear of dogs, fear of bugs, etc.). Therefore, parents, you teach the kid to treat any obtained new information critically.
You will notice that crucially having looked at the phenomenon frightening it the child will be able to lower the degree of fear. For example, the child begins to be afraid of the monsters seen in any movie or brings this fear from kindergarten. It is necessary to begin to discuss with the child who such monsters what weak points at them, whether they are always dangerous that we can make that they were not in the bedroom of the child. You teach the kid to call in question all accepted truths, showing that there are no taboo subjects for discussion, explain to him that we are not obliged to everything to take a word.
Create the rituals on overcoming fears of height, night darkness or foreign people.
Let's say you can think up the spell which is frightening off enemies and it will become a fascinating game for the kid. Also existence of similar rituals will create a stock for fight against the fears characteristic at advanced age.
If these actions do not help, the kid does not change the behavior, can be in family the child does not feel safe, or your fears for it which you show it are transferred to the child. It is possible also that education is based on too overestimated requirements, and the child cannot cope with them, as a result having fear to make something not as you demand.
Strict rules which failure to follow leads obligatory condemnation and punishment lead to development in the child of uneasiness, diffidence, and even cowardice. Authoritative communication with the child puts it in constant tension, he is afraid not to please you, becomes excessively shy, ceases to show activity, both in game, and in other activity.
When you use suppression, let us assume, "Will be enough to cry!" its emotional manifestation is interrupted, as a result it accumulates constraint, stiffness, becomes uncertain, often coward. The kid needs positive feedback from parents, tell him the words of encouragement more often as far as it is possible.
If the kid never knows how you will estimate his act in any given situation or if he is afraid of discontent of parents, formation of his personality happens in constant alarm and tension. The cowardice does not appear at the child as accidental reaction, it is result of influence on it of all people around, and first of all family and relatives.
Teach the child not to perceive failure as accident. Explain to him that failures are a part of our experience, accumulating which, we adapt to the world around better. And, first of all, let he knows that the love of parents does not depend on its failures.
Having confidence in love of the parents, it will be easier for it to move towards fears and to overcome them.
Parents, understand that there are no identical people, all people different. There are strong characters, there are soft. Do not break the child that to change him and to make such what you want to see him. A task of parents to help the little person to learn to live, not to learn to fight, namely to live. Teach him to be on friendly terms, to communicate without ceremony with peers and adults, to ask the help from people if it is required. Your child not the coward, he is careful. Help it to believe in the forces.