Marrying, many naive newlyweds believe that their family life based on love will become cloudless and trouble-free. But, alas, crises of family life happen even at the most loving couples. Often literally several months later after the wedding of the relation change not for the better, two loving persons without the visible reasons begin to move away from each other, to communicate, discuss less problems with voices raised. Really it is also the normal course of family life? No, crisis in marriage just like that proves.
Crises of family life the psychology explains with a set of various reasons, here only some, the main:
- The overestimated requirements to each other – one of the main reasons. Movies and books impose us certain ideal types of people and the relations, and it can affect marriage not to the best. All of us are imperfect, and it is necessary to understand that the man cannot work hard at the same time, at the same time, being a passionate lover and the appeasable husband. Women, under oppression of cares, not always manage to look after themselves as it is demanded by "glamourous standards".
- The frivolous relation to the partner's problems, unwillingness to help it – one more reason of crisis. People are often simply not ready to difficulties or are too fixated on own troubles.
- Divergences in sexual desires can provoke difficulties in the relations too. In this case marriage can save only frankness of spouses.
- Obsession with work, the child or, loved – one more serious problem. The romanticism gradually leaves, and if couple has no common interests, mutual feelings begin to cool down.
Crises of family life by years
If to trust psychologists, the love has biorhythms too: she is born, ripens, and then can die … We will consider the most peak moments of coolings here and also we will give advice how to overcome crisis in the relations at different stages of swimming in the family boat.
Crisis of 1 year of family life begins when postwedding euphoria and a honeymoon passed, pink glasses more often "are removed". The young wife suddenly finds out that her "newly-baked" husband likes to grumble in the evenings and to scatter anywhere socks, and the spouse begins to criticize appearance of the wife and her borsch … What to do that the love and romanticism did not disappear from your life so quickly? Try to keep as much as possible "premarital" moments in the family life. Appointments in coffee shops, walks in the evenings, flirtation, nights of love – let all this at you will be more often!
Crisis of 3 years of family life – his family psychologists consider the most difficult. The reasons it can have a set – obsession with career, lack of common causes and interests, fatigue from each other. To keep that valuable in the relations that is already acquired, it is necessary to learn – to discuss quietly to much problems, to enjoy joint rest, it is fair to distribute duties in life, to concede each other.
Crisis of 5 years of family life is often connected with changes in couple life – appearance of the child, new work, new interests. To this term of the spouse can begin to develop in absolutely different directions. Here two exits – or to begin to be in time for the one who goes forward, or to allow it to go the own way.
Crisis of the family relations of 7 years often arises for the same reasons, as crisis of family life of 10 years. Such crises are often called crises of monotony – two persons successfully, hand in hand overcame a set of obstacles, perfectly know strong and weaknesses of each other. Everything is already adjusted – life, communication, intim, work, love became rather a habit, and there is a wish for passion fireworks … The main danger of this period – desire to find this passion on the party. New, fascinating common cause can revive family – it can be business, sport, occupation ballroom dances.
The most important condition allowing to win against any crises is desire of two people to be together, despite everything! The love, mutual understanding and our advice will precisely help you.