The relations between the man and the woman practically in all cases develop according to one scenario, but how couples overcome the arising difficulties and distinguishes all families from each other. In joint life crises of the family relations of 1, 3.7 and 9 years, and also age crises of each of partners are inevitable. Some get divorced at the first conflict, having decided that the relations were a mistake. Others stay together, but, without making efforts for preservation of the relations, with each new conflict move away from each other more and more. Most often such couples break up, having faced crisis of the family relations of 3 years. And if the family also remains that under the influence of external circumstances, for example, because of children or material problems. Facing each new crisis, spouses look for guilty persons, but not ways of resolution of conflict.
But there are also other couples. From outside they make an impression of absolutely happy and close-knit family in which there are never conflicts. Actually these couples face the same problems, as well as all others. But unlike others they seek to overcome crises and make all possible efforts for it. And it is not destiny of the elite at all, it can do to everyone who wants to live with the half happy and interesting life. Having coped with the most difficult obstacles, such as crisis of the family relations of 1, 3 and 7 years, families not only become stronger, but also get invaluable experience of communication with each other. The following advice of psychologists will help to cope with crises and to adjust harmony in family life.
Crisis of the first year
The very first crisis in the family relations is connected with the beginning of joint life. The romanticism of the first meetings remains behind, and spouses face need to adapt the friend to the friend. It is the period of new acquaintance as partners recognize each other absolutely in other light, than during appointments. At this stage it is important:
- to learn technology of frictionless communication that it is possible to make by means of trainings;
- it is opened to communicate, sounding the expectations and hopes.
- to set common goals and in common to discuss ways of their achievement;
- to study joint planning of the family budget;
- in common to adjust life so that duties were not a burden on any of spouses;
- facing the irritating factors, to discuss openly with the partner what actions cause irritation and together to look for a way to solve a problem;
- not to assume that the partner suppressed the emotions and discontent;
- in problem situations to look not for guilty persons, and a solution;
- everyone in family has to feel favourite and desired and apply for this effort, without neglecting the relation.
If the first crisis left a deposit in the relations, then it will be more difficult to overcome a next crisis of the family relations in 3 years of joint life. Therefore it is necessary to bring in due time order to the relations, without hoping that everything will be forgotten and will vanish. Having overcome difficulties at partners to appear confidence, in each other, which will help to overcome the subsequent obstacles.
How to overcome crisis of the family relations of 3 years?
In psychology the crisis of the family relations of the 3rd year of joint life is connected with the need for new feelings. The greatest number of stains falls on this period. Having already been in time it is good to study the half, partners begin to lose interest to each other. Also the divergence of priorities is observed, men to the forefront have a career, women have a family. It becomes the soil for the conflicts and misunderstanding. Appearance of the kid can aggravate the conflict, or on the contrary rally family. During this period important:
- to pay attention to self-development, to open and develop in itself new abilities and to help with it to the partner;
- together with the partner to find interesting hobby, to develop in common in this direction;
- to periodically arrange each other surprises, without cause to give gifts;
- to go to travel, even at the limited budget to look for available places for joint rest outdoors;
- at the birth of the child it is attentive to listen to feelings of each other, nobody in family has to remain the deprived attention and care.
In some east exercises it is considered that the real family arises after crisis of the family relations in 3 years of joint life. The subsequent crisis of 7 and 9 years, crisis of middle age, and other obstacles arising on the way of spouses will only strengthen the relations. But only, if having met the first difficulties, partners will manage to develop the correct behavior model on the relation to each other, to learn to analyze the events and to accumulate only experience, but not offenses.